dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
