Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
