Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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