Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
