Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
