She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
