Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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