I will die if light touches me.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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