i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
