Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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