i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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