Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
