That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize