The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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