I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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