At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
