It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize