And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
