I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.