Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize