Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
