does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
