Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You smell like stripper and shame
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
