Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
