You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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