Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
