we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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