just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
