I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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