And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
