all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i now understand why vodka
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
