I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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