I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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