i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
