I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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