doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
