barbara walters just said penis...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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