Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize