Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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