Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
