We're like a lot better than the average bears
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize