I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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