Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The best revenge is premature balding
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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