Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
