the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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