So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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