M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
