We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
nutella sex= disaster
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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