Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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