Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
