is wine microwaveable?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
