yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
