so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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