Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
