I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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