True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
