i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
