u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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