I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
