I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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