Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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