I bet he comes in French.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize