shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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