escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
