yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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