watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
