Someone shit on the floor
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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